Hi Readers, This is a guest blog written by a person who I have been coaching for the last three months. The acceptance and application of the principle of Affirmation, Belief factor & Anchoring are well illustrated through this article. A privilege to work with you Varsha and see the amazing Growth and what you plan to create as you weave through this beautiful Life. Thank You for sharing your experience.
How often do you find yourself telling, “Mate, I am not that smart”, “Freak, I am so dumb!”, “Oh God! Why am I so ugly?”
Very often, agreed? We use statements that dis-empower us; words that short sell us. And sadly, this is not just while talking with others but also while talking with the inner self. We abuse ourselves thinking that it will inspire us to perform better, that it will help us grow, but to state this as a wrong technique for self-improvement will be the understatement of this millennium. Now, what happens when we dis-empower the self? How does it mold our character? What effect does it leave on our subconscious?
David Nair, an NLP specialist enlightened me that using dis-empowering words is MENTALLY CRIPPLING one’s self. The brain gets indented every time one uses such words and its effects remain imbedded in the subconscious mind. The result of which is sure to come out some time and in strange ways. Those were his exact words. Horrifying, isn’t it?
A retrospection of one event which happened six years ago where I had mentally whipped myself and the repercussions of which have not faded away completely, till this day.
I decided to throw a surprise party for a friend of mine when I was in college. I arranged for the cake, invited mutual friends and exerted myself to hand-make the gift. That friend did not acknowledge my efforts and took the entire setting for granted, leaving me in a state of surprise and resentment. That day, I spent hours crying in front of the mirror, scribbling pages in my personal dairy that I have made a complete fool of myself, that I am not lovable and that there is no place for me and my goodness in this world.
I made a mental note to stay away from all my friends because I believed that at some point they will all hurt me, reducing my level of self-worth. I sulked in my cocoon for a few weeks after which I came to know that the same friend had lost his dearest neighbor just a few days before his birthday. But this discovery did not and will not erase the damage I have caused to my inner self. At some corner in my memory, the statement, “I am not lovable” is still deep-rooted. And I have observed it popping up every time I make an analysis if I am deserving or non-deserving for a particular favor.
So when David says it is important to mind the thoughts we think and the words we speak for that is all it takes to make or break a person, I do not hesitate to believe. What I feed inside is what is reflected outside in my character, my personality and my entire being and hence it is my duty to nurture my inner self as opposed to whipping it. David’s technique of positive affirmations has helped me a great extent to undo the damage I have done over all these years. I constantly tell myself that I am beautiful, I am smart, I am healthy, I am happy and load myself with positive affirmations day in, day out and the results have had a jaw-dropping effect on me. I am amazed and astonished on how it is within my reach to nourish my inside and get the desired results outside.
And when I face external situations that dis-empower and drain me, I use what David calls anchoring. It is a simple technique that when mastered can make life a treat, a celebration. Every time we face a negative situation, our mind involuntarily thinks and links all the related negative scenarios experienced in the past and in no time we find ourselves landed in a pool of negativity. We feel so unenergetic, so lost that everything ahead appears foggy. David says when a situation like this arises, the mind should be trained to immediately anchor on positive things. The anchor can be in the form of your own positive, fruitful experience from the past or inspiration derived from others who employed positivity in similar situations and obtained beneficial results or it could be a simple introspection of the things that have helped you come this far. Anchoring on positive things has helped me shield negativity almost effortlessly and effectively that I do not feel drained but even the more energetic to carry out my mission. The simple switch in mindset is all it takes to give up or raise the thumbs up.
I believe that there are many such ways to empower the self and with constant practice and dedication, the sky becomes the limit. David’s quotes that “Growth is directly proportional to self-development” and looking at the incredible stories that stand as testimony from his participants across the globe, I am motivated to take steps, no matter how small, to blossom and to spread the fragrance around.