David, a Mentor, NLP Life Coach & Corporate Trainer to many.
David's DEFINITE MAJOR PURPOSE (DMP) is to make a mindset shift in 1 million minds to stretch that little more in each of us, thereby contributing towards a better world for all of us and generations to come.....
The Books, CD's, DVD's & Video's a man/women reads, sees and hears, maketh the person. The People he/she Associates with, grooms that person for Life.
David's detailed experience could be found in the following links.
Did you know that your unfinished “to-do list” can give you negative vibes and create a failure programming in your belief system?
A“to-do list” is an asset to some people hence, a positive tool
It could sometimes have a negative impact. Others might find “to-do lists” motivating and organized, but on another side, when we fail to meet the more complete “to-do list,” we unconsciously program a negative thought into ourselves for non-completion of that task.
This immediately triggers the Hunter instinctive mind in us, which in the first instance through autopilot mode is conditioned to see what task is incomplete. It then proceeds to see what is complete.
Why is this the case? Our brain is hardwired to initially approach a situation from a Self – Preservation standpoint.
Therefore “to do List” might not be the right instrument to measure and track our performance in achieving our goals. This negative influence on our conditioning will build up and fill us with self-doubt, which triggers us questioning our capabilities and self-esteem.
Such repeated falls become a demotivator in us trying to achieve our long-term goals. Such repeated results will stop us from taking action. This becomes overwhelming and multiple such falls will stop us from seeing the outcomes we had planned to achieve.
We often go through this state when we just commence with our “to-do lists”.
In the heat of enthusiasm, we try to push ourselves beyond our limit but what we end up with finally is negative stroke and doubts. Learn to be consciously aware of the right way to move towards your goals to achieve or accomplish them. Work on the process in the right way by first Knowing You, then, Building You.
Each one of us is unique; hence we will need a plan customized for ourselves, which is suitable for us to use, and which is self-motivating to keep us working at it till we manifest our goals.
Uncompleted “to-do lists” can create Unconscious Stress. Matters sometimes do not work out, the way you would like them to roll out. When you are in your most vulnerable state, is when you tend to take things personally.
This can be emotionally draining, and you will end up, constantly reevaluating your self-esteem. By not taking things personally, it gives you more control over how you respond, your emotions and your energy level. While a “to-do list” helps keep us on track, ever thought of a “stop doing list”?
The tasks we reach out to every single day to understand what needs to be done for the day but do not do it because it’s been on the back burner for so long. It has collected dust.
Simply put, it is a list of tasks or things you do not do, no matter what. It is a list that tells you, what you ought to not do so that by default you focus on what you are supposed to be doing.
Examples of a“stop-doing list”can be these items and more: –
Stop comparing yourself to others
Stop buying Great Deals on Flipkart and Amazon sales (the kinds you do not need but get lured into)
Stop checking emails/ Facebook constantly
Stop watching Netflix/tv beyond 30 mins a day
Stop being available to everyone all the time and it can go on etc. etc.
“The do it all on your Own” syndrome can sometimes be overwhelming. It is difficult and overwhelming to do the “stop doing list” and you will find it can help.
Please do drop us a line to share your thoughts on this concept and how you are working through it.
Intent, a reflection of your spirit’s desire to create “a form” in the material world.
The only way to clearly translate that desire into physical reality is through action. Intent without dedicated action is simply hot air. Action without clear intent, a purpose and direction is a waste – a state of nothingness.
It is when these two powerful forces (Intent & Action) are aligned that the energy of the universe conspires in your favour to manifest the outcome.
Intent and action are the fuel and vehicle in the journey of creation. When you establish a destination by defining what you want, then take physical action by making choices that move you towards that destination, the possibility for success is limitless and arrival at the destination is inevitable. The universe always collaborates when this is in sync
A lot is written and spoken about on these forces, but few advocate the Balancing of these two powerful forces in your life!
Too much intent, coupled with too little action is a recipe for frustration and impotent existing.
Too much action with too little intent makes for wasteful exertion of energy and the confusion between movement and progress.
Synchroneity, the balance of these forces will unfold the seeds of happiness, success, and creation provided it is watered, nourished, and cared regularly, for the lotus flower to bloom.
Today is your day to harness these mega powers and put their limitless potential to work for you. The universe conspires in your favor the moment you deliver to it a clear message of balanced intent and action. Deliver your message today! Now….
Hope you are benefitted from this article. Share this with your friends and family.
“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” – George Washington Carver
Excusitis can be referred to as a mental disease of making excuses. Yes, this is nothing less than a mental disease. As humans we are fantastic in using our capabilities to hurl lame excuses. We usually have an excuse ready when things don’t happen our way or when we do not act the way others expect.
The casket of excuses usually starts to unbolt the moment we wake up. We might have an excuse for not going on a walk today.Then while reaching office, we use all our innovative skills to fling an excuse for punching in late. We are so smart that we can think of an excuse in the wink of an eye, while parking our vehicle in the office parking or while getting off the cab.
When we are called to explain why we left home yesterday without completing the work, we whisk in an emotional touch to the excuse that we already wove while leaving for home the last day. Probably, the senior might not have thought of such an out of the box excuse in the wildest of his dreams!When we are asked about the progress of today’s work, we raise our thumb assuring that the ‘train is running on time’, although we might be still struggling to complete the yesterday’s pendency.
Upon reaching home, when we are asked if we have bought the grocery while returning from office, we, often while taking off our socks, exclaim in a broken voice, ‘today was a very grilling day, I am burned-out’. In the next minute, if we receive a call from some of our friend informing that he is throwing a party, we feel as fresh and cool as a cucumber ready to rock. Then while going to bed we again give ourselves an excuse that from tomorrow we won’t catapult any excuse but that tomorrow has not yet shown up.
Excuses, excuses, excuses!
“He / She that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
– Benjamin Franklin
At the bottom of our hearts, we know that we are lying to ourselves and others but still, we have made this defense mechanism a part of our everyday life. Why? Because we have been bitten by the bug of Excusitis, it shoos away the problem temporarily.
Eventually, the problem smiles at us since this is what it wants. It comes back with a battalion and shatters our life. But no problem, we have an excuse this time as well since we need to justify to others that we were not responsible. It was the devil of ill-fate, someone else, situation or even God responsible behind the bombshell. And hence we spend our whole life in mediocrity because we have been descended on earth to live this way.
“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”– George Washington
However, the truth is that we have enslaved ourselves to excuses. We are as much capable as any successful person or a millionaire but we ourselves repulse our actual destiny, which is to live the life of abundance. It’s time to take off from the excuse-land and shoot towards our cherished dreams.
Life has a treasure trove in store for us that must be beyond our imagination but for that unthinkable to happen, we need to break ourselves free from the shackle of excuses. We are a winner and “winners never give excuses even in difficult times”.
Here are some Golden Ways to STOP Making Excuses:
Stop fearing the unknown
Take responsibility for your dreams
Set small and achievable goals
Switch your mode to ‘action’ and be consistent
Stop comparing yourself to others
Do not expect yourself to be perfect in everything
Believe in yourself; you have all it takes
Take mistakes as a teacher
Focus less on your weaknesses and more on strengths
Remember, this is a habit that can be changed and you undoubtedly have the ability to shove off excuses.
The Pareto principle applies in communication too. Really?
Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know. As soon as it is spoken out loud, it unfolds a picture. Two keywords ‘information’ and ‘communication’ are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things.
Always remember in Communication…….
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone, and you get frustrated? Maybe you forgot that we are all different and have our own styles of communication, we see things differently, based on our culture and upbringing.
For example, some people grow up in families where it seems everyone is talking at the same time-varying topics are swirling around the room,(and poor little you, or the quietest one, might not get a chance to put a word in). You are left up high and dry, without a chance of getting a word in. Other people grew up in homes where it was different; one person talked while everyone else listened.
Similarly in the work environment, where you have in some situations closed your office door, and there are some people who ignore this signal, without knocking, they walk into your office and starts yammering away? The opposite can be true, too; a knock on the door and then silence – they are waiting for you to say something.
Hence there is a mix in the way people communicate with each another.
Let me make it quite clear, there is neither a right nor a wrong way. It boils down to style, etiquette, culture, customs and what the person is exposed to as to how the individual manages through these scenarios. They individuals are just doing what they have learnt and in some cases by try and error. When we are in such a situation– the cardinal rule is to listen, hear the person out, before responding.
The next time someone’s communication manner, style is different, have empathy, take a breath, wait a few seconds, then listen to what it is that they are trying to tell you. Figure out a way to make the exchange of information, feelings, ideas, or questions a good experience for both of you.
Always remember: –
“Communication in any relationship is like blood to life, you take blood away from life, what happens to life, it dies.
Similarly, you take communication away from a relationship. What happens to the relationship? The relationship dies.”
Take stock and act accordingly. Let’s make the environment we are in,a great place to effectively connect with one another, with this Keynote in mind: Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place
‘It is amazing what behavior, attitude, and approach towards what you do have such a significant impact on how the outcome turns out.”
To illustrate this let me share with you this father (John), daughter (Sally) and wife (Suzie) story. It also encompasses what is commonly referred to as the 90 / 10 rule of Life. Picture how a perfectly fantastic day was messed up.
The 90 10 Rule
Put bluntly, the 90 10 Rule is where: In 10% of life, things happen to us we have no control over these events. While 90% of our life depends on how we react to the things that happen to us. We have total control over our choice of reaction to the things that happen to us for these.
Check this case on hand – Imagine at breakfast time in a normal suburban home, John and Suzie with their daughter Sally are sitting at the dining table. Sally turns around quickly to reach out for the Ipad, sitting on the bench. As she does that, she knocks her coffee all over her father John’s white shirt.
John shouts and yells curses and says “What a clumsy thing to do Sally. Why did you have to reach out for the Ipad and not get up and go to the bench and pick it up? How could you be so clumsy! Now I have to go up and change into another shirt.”
John then shouts at his wife, saying it’s your fault, “Why did you leave the coffee so close to the edge of the table!”. He storms upstairs to change his shirt, leaving behind a daughter in tears and fuming a wife.
John is leaving home 5 minutes later and the traffic has picked up. Sally is deeply hurt, grumpy, in the back of the car and totally ignoring him. John drops Sally at school, she is late as assembly had stated and she did not get a chance to talk with her friends before assembly.
John eventually gets to the office fuming, hot-tempered and in a state of flux. His boss greets him and tells him “let’s review that important document we need to deliver today”. Suddenly John’s face went pale and realized in all that rush that he had left the notes on the table in the hallway at home. He left it out their table to do a final review during breakfast, but with the chaos at home, that plan went for a toss out the window. Hence John went rushed out without going through the paper or even picking it up.
His boss fumed out of his office, yelling at John to go home and pick it up, as it is an important opportunity and a vital client. John returns home to pick up the document. The day proceeds with one such mishap after another… John was happy to get home and hit the sack.
That night the house is in a tense angry situation with nobody talking to each other…
Why did John, Suzy and Sally have a bad day?
1) because of the spilt coffee?
2) because of Sally spilling the coffee.
3) because of the traffic?
4) because of his boss and the important meeting?
5) because of John’s reaction to the spilt coffee?
In this case, although Sally spills the coffee and looks shocked and concerned. John looks at his shirt, pauses, and looks at his daughter and says, “Oh no I will have to change this shirt. Not to worry, I have another one upstairs. Sally in future you need to be a little more careful. It’s only a shirt. Let me get upstairs and change my shirt and be down in a moment. John hugs Sally pats her on the head and goes and changes his shirt.
John comes downstairs, by which time Suzie has Sally in her car taking Sally to school. This gives John a few minutes to glance through the document as planned. He refines the document, makes a couple of more additional notes, and gets into his car to drive to work.
There is traffic, but John is in control and focused on the way, running the document delivery in his mind. He is practising the presentation out loud in the car. John arrives at work, goes to his office settles in and enters his boss’s office. He delivers a well thought through the effective presentation. That night he reaches the house, and everybody is sitting at dinner sharing their day, in a happy mood.
Same story, two different scenarios, they began the same but ended quite different. They ended differently. The people are the same. Their approach, their attitude, their mindset, their level of EQ was all different.
All because of How John chose to react to something that happened to him.
Ten per cent (10%) of life is stuff that happens to you. Ninety per cent (90%) depends on your choice of reaction to what has happened to you.
I am a Christian, an avid reader of scriptures of various religions. I keep abreast with Islam, as a significant per cent of my global friends are Muslims and I am interested in various rituals, activities and celebrations that are performed in Islam and other religions.
With EID on us, last weekend I was having a discussion, with a few Muslims friends on “Hajj…. The Journey” basically is a demonstration of the solidarity of a person with his creator and his submission to God (Allah).
What is the literal meaning of “The Journey”? As one of those in the discussion mentioned, it is an “outward act of a journey, and the Inward act of Intentions”. Put in simple terms, a period of soul searching and internal reflections.
Wow — I thought, the statement was deep …He followed through with his reflection — “I am one of those 60000 lucky fellows who were shortlisted this time for Hajj 2021”. He went on to say, “I request all my near, dear and well-wishers to pray to Allah to accept my hajj.” He concluded by saying, “I also request you all to forget and forgive if wittingly or unwittingly, I have hurt any of you in any way.”
This, soul searching and internally reflections, the Christians do in the form of retreats during Lent, leading up to Easter.
This intrigued me and I felt there was an area of commonality which is what prompted me to write on this subject of HAJJ. I have heard about it a lot, as I grew up in Malaysia with numerous Muslim friends.
What is Hajj and why is it important?
An annual pilgrimage to Mecca that all able Muslims are expected to complete at least once in their lives. Hajj is one of the Five Pillars of Islam and is a sacred event in Islam. Muslims retrace the route as followed by the Prophet Muhammad, Ibrahim, and Ismail, as well as the path that the wife of Ibrahim, Hagar, ran seven times between two hills as she sought water for her dying son. In Islamic belief, Allah created a spring that continues to run to this very day.
It is also believed that this journey allows Muslims to wipe away any sins and wipe the slate clean in front of Allah.
Prior to the Pandemic, this five-day pilgrimage would annually draw around two to three million Muslims. This pilgrimage happens in the last month of the Islamic (lunar) calendar. The journey, Hajj, as mentioned above, is one of the Five Pillars of Islam, and is a sacred event in Islam faith. The other four pillars being Declaration of Faith, Obligatory Prayer, Compulsory Giving and Fasting in the Month of Ramadan.
Who goes on Hajj?
The faith requires every Muslim who is physically able, of sound mind and financially capable to go on Hajj at least once in their lifetime. Those who complete the pilgrimage may add the title of Hajji to their name.
Hajj translates from Arabic as ‘to intend a journey, thus giving the pilgrimage its name. There is no obligation for children to undertake Hajj as they are not yet considered able, just as those under the age of puberty do not observe the fast in Ramadhan.
When 2021, is Hajj?
In 2021, Hajj is due to begin on Saturday 17 July and end on the evening of Thursday 22 July, along with Eid ul-Adha. As the Covid-19 pandemic continues, though, it is uncertain how viable it will be for vast numbers of Muslims to travel for Hajj this year. Due to the Coronavirus pandemic, only 60000 Muslims are allowed for Hajj. This is to respect the social distancing rules.
Hajj pilgrims streamed out of the holy city of Mecca and into the Mina valley on Sunday, launching the rituals of the great pilgrimage. For the second year running, there is a scaled-down in attendance from 2,5 million to 60000 this year. This is drastically smaller than in normal times, creating resentment among Muslims abroad who are further restricted once again.
What happens on Hajj?
The five-day Hajj occurs during Dhul Hijjah, the 12th and final month. It begins two days prior to Eid ul-Adha and goes through the three-day festival of the sacrifice.
On the first day, a smaller pilgrimage (Umrah) takes place in Mecca. This is when Muslims retrace the steps of Hagar between two hills — this is after circling the Kaaba, the building housed in the centre of the Masjid al-Haram which is the most important mosque in Islam faith. Small groups of pilgrims will be performing the “tawaf” at Mecca’s Grand Mosque, circling the Kaaba, a large cubic structure draped in golden — embroidered black cloth towards which Muslims around the world pray. On route to Mecca, some Muslims choose to visit Medina which is where the tomb of the Prophet Muhammad rests. These pilgrims end their day by spending the night in the valley of Mina.
In the high point of the Hajj, worshippers will on Monday climb Mount Arafat. Also known as the “Mount of Mercy”, it is the site where it is believed that the Prophet Muhammad delivered his final sermon. This high point of Hajj sees pilgrims head towards Mount Arafat where they will spend the afternoon. They will also climb the hill, Jabal al-Rahma, (commonly referred to as the “Mount of Mercy”) which is where Prophet Muhammad delivered his final sermon. Worshippers will undertake hours of prayers and Quranic recital.
Later in the day, as the sun sets, the pilgrims will head 5.5 miles west of Arafat to Muzdalifa — and while there is the option of taking a bus, many choose to walk this distance.
After descending the following day, they will gather pebbles and perform the symbolic “stoning of the devil”.
During the next three days, Muslims circle the Kaaba one final time, cast stones (picked up along the walk to Muzdalifa) in Mina, and remove the Ihram (a sacred state Muslims enter to perform the pilgrimage). Men will shave their heads and women cut a lock of hair as a sign of renewal. In addition to completing the Hajj pilgrimage over the three days of Eid ul-Adha, Muslims will carry out the ritual sacrificial slaughter of livestock and distribute shares of meat to the poor, in accordance with Islamic tradition.
A wonderful powerful journey did once in a lifetime. Most of these practices can be done regularly and some days within the confines of one’s own environment and home.
We need to be a person who practices our faith 24/7 and still be living in the NOW.
I have always advocated our relationship with our GOD does not start and stop on a Sunday when the Christians go to church or on a Friday when the Muslims go to Mosque or on the day when the Hindus go to Temple. Instead, it is a 24/7 awareness of ensuring you drive Empowering values of goodness, integrity, kindness etc….
That is practising once religion in the truest of forms. It’s pointless going to church on Sunday or the mosque on Friday or Hajj or the temple, and on coming out of that prayer time, we go all out to contravene what the premises of the religious connection with the god you believe is advocated you do.
The brain’s hard-wiring may have a significant influence on character development.
It is also true that the “culture” of a neighborhood/environment, plays a critical role. By culture, I mean the prevailing social norms, influential networks, and the behaviors expected by one’s family, friends and associates and colleagues
Hence interesting to note whom you spend most of your time hanging out with?
Put bluntly – you hang out with Flies, Liars, Cheats & Looser you become a Fly, Liar, Cheat & Loser.
You hang out with Butterflies, Winners & People with Credibility; you become a butterfly, Winner and a Person of Credibility…
Bit lengthy? An interesting read? all the same….. only for those who carry that streak of humility in them to still class themselves as a student of Life…..
2000 years ago a Tamil Poet / Writer, called Tiruvalluvar wrote a string of well-versed poetry, which in South India is commonly referred to as Tirukkural.
It touches on various aspects of Human Psychology and Behaviour.
Today, with the advancement in science & technology we seem to be still driving these fundamentals through enhanced learning & development channels. Amazing to say how relevant those words of wisdom were 2000 years ago….
Some points from the Tirukkural to ponder over ……. Amazing how relevant it is today……
A translated extract from the TIRUKKAL:
1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you overreact too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.
2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.
3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advise them more than you encourage them.
4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.
5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.
6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.
7. If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them.
8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehavior and you give little attention to good behavior.
9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it.
10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.
11. If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.
12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.
13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think it’s normal behavior.
14. If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions
15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right
1. Being Humane is an ability to show great #compassion, #consideration, #care and #kindness for others
2. Being Humane is an ability to alleviate another’s #suffering
3. Being Humane is an ability to have #empathy for people suffering and in #distress
Before we can practice being humane, we need to live and walk these traits within us
• If we do not know what they are? • If we do not have those traits how do we practice them? • How do we do the “talk the talk” without doing the walk the walk
That’s why I keep saying and hold steadfast on this opinion –
1. People do things incorrectly because they don’t know ( I experienced it when I first came to India in 1998, took a number of years to understand, appreciate and work in passing the baton in up skilling them rather than getting annoyed for not meeting the standard. Once shown they Soared like Eagle.)
2. They are too shameful to admit that they don’t know.
3. They lack exposure
Hence we should not assume anything – it’s like putting a young child through kindergarten and starting its education with the 3R’s.
Nothing beats Silence for that’s where the answer to all resides…. train yourself to get into this state
Nothing beats Reading for its home to solutions found from others expression, experience and education.
Nothing beats Association power of an inner circle core of minds for its home to strengthening and manifesting their common purpose; spending time mulling over the sizzle – the drawing power is in the sizzle, not the fire, talking round campfire where wisdom was passed from elders to upcoming elders, just talking, sharing, sketching, reflective is nurturing that purpose…
Some days I enrich from all three domains,
Some days from two
Some days from one…
Every day I would at least enrich from one domain…
Yesterday and for quite some time now, I am grateful to have had all three domains to fill my hunger ( 3 meals a day)
At times there would only be two meals or sometimes one meal – worry not for that’s your time of fasting, Building the reserve during winter months for summer…