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Monthly Archives: February 2013

Self Talk

Did you know that we are in constant communiqué with our self all day long?

No, not the mental chatter about activities and chores that we need to remember throughout the day. That’s a form of self- talk too – but I’m referring to the things we say to our self on a regular basis; and more importantly, the tone in which we say them.

When we make a mistake, do we berate our self angrily? Do we put our self’s down or call our self-derogatory names?

When we have a hard time making positive changes in our life, do we bemoan what a “worthless” person we are and conclude that we can’t do anything right?

Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging to our self- esteem, especially if it’s a big part of our daily life. When we keep saying things like that to our self, eventually we begin to BELIEVE them!

Highest self-esteem and self-confidence are two of the “keys” to unlocking the door to our desires.

Most often these negative messages begin as statements uttered by the adults in our life when we were a child…. They may have said something negative about us when our actions displeased them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind things even when we didn’t deserve it.

As painful as these experiences can be, even worse is when we pick up where they left off and we keep repeating the same negative messages to our self over and over!

The good news is that you can change our “self-talk” any time we want. The first step is to become AWARE of the ‘tone’ of your messages and consciously ‘replace’ them with more encouraging ones.

Try these simple steps for starters:

* Develop AWARENESS of your self-talk. It may take practice, but if you start “listening” in to our inner voice, we’ll begin to notice when we talk negatively to our self.

* CHALLENGE the negative messages. When we notice our self, saying something negative such as, “We’re such a screw-up, we can’t do anything right” – Stop our self and challenge that belief. Is that really true? Maybe we mess up sometimes, but do we ALWAYS mess up? Probably not

* REPLACE these negative messages with positive messages. When we realize we’re saying unkind and untrue things to our self, simply TURN IT AROUND in our mind.

Using the above example, we might say, “Wow, that’s not true at all! I do plenty of things right. It’s true I make mistakes, but so does everyone. I’m a good person and I try my best. That’s good enough for me.”

Over time, these efforts will pay off in the form of stronger self- esteem and RESPECT for Our self and our Capabilities. It probably won’t happen overnight, but the more we work at turning our self-talk in a more positive direction, the better we’ll feel about our self.

Make this our mission to ensure we are at that cutting edge to be in control of OUR SELF TALK.

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Posted by on February 28, 2013 in Emotional Intelligence

 

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Awaken the Giant in US

How many of us have at time reflected on what we have been doing for the last number of years. Have we achieved what we wanted to achieve? If No, then continue to do what we are doing, do you thing we can achieve what we want? In most instances the answer is No. Therefore we need to CHANGE.

How? The answer is within each of us, Awaken the giant within us.

EVERY LIVING SOUL ON PLANET EARTH HAS THE POTENTIAL – MASSIVE, UNTAPPED POTENTIAL!

Collectively, that’s the richest source of wealth in the entire world. Nothing ever invented, nothing ever dreamed of, produced, or multiplied a thousand times over could ever match the wealth that lies in the untapped potential of our minds and our beings!

The libraries are filled…and news articles abound…with story after story of awkward kids, young people who couldn’t pass exams in school, athletes who didn’t make the team early on. Yet some way, somehow, they went on to great success!

So how did all of these people separate themselves from the “average” the ordinary mass of people, comprising the 80% within the Bell curve?

They made a conscious choice and a conscious decision to do whatever they had to do to wake up the sleeping giant.

They set a goal to tap their unused potential. And with practice, practice, practice, practice, dedication, commitment, and hard work they move up that notch.

Some basic steps to awake that giant within each of us I have never seen them fail to produce the required result!

First, BELIEVE IN OURSELF!

Believe that we do have a sleeping giant within and an untapped potential that you are unique and different and that we can develop and grow and achieve.

Second, EXPECT TO SUCCEED! 

Just like gravity is here to stay to indefinitely, so will the Law of Expectation.
Living life with positive expectancy produces great rewards. Remember, the only limitations we will ever have are those we place on our self.

Third, VISUALIZE OUR SUCCESS!!

Never see our self as who, we are now, instead how we would be, if you wake up the giant and develop our hidden potential. Always remember each success draws us closer to the mental picture that you have of our new future and the satisfaction that comes from accomplishing the step-by-step goals that we have set.

Fourth, VERBALIZE OUR GOALS!!

Constantly repeating our goals statements, rein enforces in us that the results are achievable. It is the turbo boost, the speed that inoculates us for the run to success.
Fifth, PURSUE THESE NEW GOALS WITH EMOTION!

*     Get emotionally involved!
**      Become passionate!
***       Get excited!
****        Become enthusiastic!
*****         Feel your adrenaline pump!
******          And feel the sleeping giant awaken.

Happy Journey……..

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2013 in Planning & Goal Setting

 

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Law of Attraction

When I was spending some me time last night, after a few conference calls to associates, extracts from the book THE SECRET was running through me and it went this way.

One of the critical steps to the Law of Attraction is visualizing exactly what you want. All of the experts interviewed agree – the more precisely you visualize – the better the Law of Attraction works.

But the opposite is true as well. The less you visualize, the less noticeable the results.

And even worse for most folks – if you are unable to visualize exactly what you want, the Law of Attraction can give you the opposite of what you desire and you never see the results you want.

I do not know about you, but this is an extremely frightening thought. It is like in the movie Armageddon, where the meteoroid is head towards earth and all effort is used to deflect it from the gravity pull into earth. Once that opposite force is there and it is greater than gravity, it will deflect the meteoroid, and never will it touch earth.

The law of attraction does it the same way, if we do not have it visualized (like most folks – 95% of people), then the LAW OF ATTRACTION WILL DEFLECT IT AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE RESULT YOU WANT.

First, we will need to know what we need to visualize, therefore the importance of SETTING GOALS. We do not need to wait for a New Year to start setting goals. We start today, when the idea is planted in our mind to do and achieve something. Although we are moving in March 2013, (2 months off 2013 is gone). It does not matter, it’s not too late and I think we are adults to recognize and realize the importance of this process. We can again, leave it as a low priority and work or something else and completely loose on the opportunity described above and work that double hard trying, to make ends meet, or do something that is different for our change and benefit.

For those who need help please do not hesitate to contact david nair on dvnair@eth.net For the participants who have come to my programs, please do not send your goals to the Yahoo groups that we have established for your team. These goals are not for all to see in the public forum.

I take this opportunity to wish you and your family a belated Happy & Prosperous New 2013 Year.

Make it your year for Dynamism.

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2013 in Planning & Goal Setting

 

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Being sensitized helps build Rapport

Being sensitized helps build Rapport

Early this week on returning home late from a Training program, I met a couple, Priya & Subu in the foyer of my apartment.  As the lift arrived at the ground floor, I picked up both my training bags and stood aside, waiting for the couple to walk into the lift. Interestingly enough, the lady walked in and the man waited and ushered me to go into the lift. Hmmm, I thought.

Within the split second a thought flashed into, me…. There is something different about these people… what is it I need to find out……. The Man followed me into the lift and the doors closed.

The lady asked me which floor I would like to go?

I replied, “7 please”.

She pressed my floor number, followed by their floor number, which ended up being 8.

Curiosity built within me. I must know what is the difference in timages[2]his couple?

So I politely asked looking at both of them, “are you new here?”

The lady responded “No”, and immediately proceeds to say we own the apartment on the 8th floor and have been living in China for the last five years.

Aha, that explains the difference exposure, different lifestyle & interacting with different culture. I asked “how come China?”

 

The lady answered, “my husband is working in China”. Wow I said that must be fascinating. My immediate question Where in China? To which the man responded Shanghai, and I am a senior manager with a manufacturing plant……

I said, “I was in China in the 90’s and did do business in South China and Shanghai. There was an immediate click, I could see their body language, and expression and mannerism light up. By this time, the lift had arrived on my floor. They both stepped aside to make way for me to get out of the lift, with my large training bags. No sooner was I out of the lift, I saw the lady and the man come out and we continued our conversation in the foyer of the 7th.

images[1] (2)

The lady shared many experiences of CHANGE that had transformed them as a couple since their move to China. I shall release those experiences in later segments. For now, I just wanted to address change that had transformed this lady from being a shy, quiet, “homemaker” (a term I am still to come to grips with) to this confident effervesce lady.

I asked her what triggered that change. Her response… exposure and the need to do it, as there is no one else to day it, there you are on your own. So whether you are frightened or not you have to do certain things. I thought Wow. What learning’s from this encounter? When one has the back to the wall, one will have to confront, move forward, as there is no place else to go but forward…

Hmmm if only some of us caught this click of experience from the lady. The man then added, we knew where we were, whilst we were working here in India, well cocooned in our comfort zone. I would get up at six; get ready to go to work. Priya, would prepare the breakfast and lunch for me. I leave home at 7am and repeat this melodrama over and over again. In China, I also get up at 6am, Priya also prepares my breakfast and lunch, but it’s different…

What’s the difference? I ask and he responds being outside our comfort zone, taking calculated risks. Again I thought Wow. Subu made it a point to reiterate, David it is not that one has to go abroad but just the fact we made the decision to Change… If I look at the growth that has transformed Priya into being the person she is today, she would have had to live 10 life’s in India to do so, and with me I would have had to live 100 life’s… What an interesting perspective. By this time Priya, commented to her husband, I think, David needs to go, as he has had long day training. Look at our clock and it was 45 mins talk in the foyer of the 7th floor.

Powerful learning’s from the short encounter…Moments to reflect and ponder…

  • Being Sensitize to verbal & nonverbal cues to build on rapport
  • Asking the right type of questions to enhance communication 
  • Decision Making based on facts
  • Understanding of one’s true potential and drawing that power from within each of us
  • Understanding cultural differences and adapting to it.
  • Unlearning old die hard habits and relearning new productive habits
  • And the list can keep going on & on….

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2013 in Cross Culture

 

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“Life is what happens to you while you are busy making plans”……John Lennon

Sundar, a past participant, who attended my Design your Life Program conducted in Chennai in 2004, has the following message to share. The reflection below is from his previous manager, who has been based at Volvo Sweden for the last 18 years.

Enjoy the reflection an understanding of cross culture and how we grow and enrich our life from such interactions. Check and feel the thoughtfulness, understanding, empthy and level of Emotional Quotient…………Cheers David

From an Indian working in Sweden:

An interesting reflection:    Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans!

It’s been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience.
Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It’s a rule.
Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results.
Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words
1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn’t say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, ‘Do you have a fixed parking space? I’ve noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot.’ To which he replied, ‘Since we’re here early we’ll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don’t you think?……………Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there’s a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing.  Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of ‘hurry’ and ‘craziness’ generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of ‘having in quantity'(life status) versus ‘having with quality’, ‘life quality’ or the ‘quality of being’. French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%…This slow attitude has brought forth the US’s attention, pupils of the fast and the ‘do it now!’

This no-rush attitude doesn’t represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the ‘now’, present and concrete, versus the ‘global’, undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans’ essential values, the simplicity   of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It’s time   to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of  products and services, without losing the essence of spirit. In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there’s a scene where the blind Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, ’I can’t, my boyfriend will be here any minute now’. To which Al responds, ‘A life is lived in an instant’.  Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, ‘Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans’.

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalized world.

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2013 in Cross Culture

 
 
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